REALLY!

I love you, Gmail. I love your great spam filters and ever-expanding storage. I love that my e-mail always looks professional with your name on the end. But you're disappointing me.

Checking my e-mail, I noticed a new feature called Gmail Autopilot by CADIE. Google offers this rationalization for this horrid aberration: "As more and more everyday communication takes place over email, lots of people have complained about how hard it is to read and respond to every message. This is because they actually read and respond to all their messages."

They continue with "How does Gmail mirror my communication style?
The more Gmail messages Autopilot can sample, the better. With fewer than 100 messages, there may not be enough data to calibrate Autopilot effectively. You can adjust tone, typo propensity, and preferred punctuation from the Autopilot tab under Settings."

In the immortal words of Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler, REALLY! Have we really gotten so lazy that we can't be bothered to reply to co-workers and bosses about projects, answer questions from clients, RSVP to friends and family, or even tell well-intentioned e-mail forwarders please to stop sending ridiculous chain letters and bogus urban legends?

It's true that we get really busy; for my part, I have entirely too many messages I haven't read (NOT personal messages, but e-newsletters and daily tips). But don't you think the people closest to us deserve personal attention, even of the cyber variety?

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Need a laugh?

Enjoy! Much love to my friend Joyce for sending this.

I was all ready to write a scathing post . . .

About how sick I am of hearing about the "economic crisis." There's always been an "economic crisis"; it's called poverty. But no one referred to it as a crisis till rich people and big corporations started losing money. I forgot that big corporations employ human beings, too.

I still stand by my original premise, though, that politicians, Republican and Democrat, have been ignoring the real crisis for years:

• It's a crisis that loyal employees who've been with the same company for 30, 35, 40 years are being "right-sized" or "bought out" because their employer won't pay their salary and benefits.


• It's a crisis that senior citizens and the working poor get caught in a double-bind -- too many assets or too much income for government assistance, not enough assets or income to be fully self-sufficient.


• It's a crisis that there's not enough safe, healthy, appropriate housing for homeless people, particularly families.


• It's a crisis that people with disabilities, particularly veterans with disabilities, have to go through a ridiculous amount of bureaucracy to get ANY sort of assistance.


• It's a crisis that small businesses are hampered by so much bureaucracy and so many regulations that it's difficult to exist, let alone turn a profit.


• It's a crisis that CEOs and company owners don't care that their employees are struggling and say things like "We're not going to participate in this bad economy," or "I'm getting my cut."


• The biggest crisis: Everyone's looking for something -- or someone -- to blame. Illegal immigrants, big corporations, the "welfare state," capitalism, Satan, personal irresponsibility, you name it.

Here's a concept -- stop looking for faults, and start working on finding a solution. Buying a generator and stocking up on ammo and canned goods is NOT finding a solution. Neither is becoming a news junkie (or the flip side, going on a complete media fast because it's too depressing).

Kitteh pics

Oliver doing his "cute face"

Rocky: "Yes, I know I'm handsome"

Bad blogger!

Bad, bad blogger! No SEO rankings for you!

Seriously, I have been crazy-busy the last couple months. Blogging seems like just one more item on the (ever-lengthening) to-do list.

Here's some of what I've been up to:

- The full-time job has kept me busy. We've had five programs in the past two months, and we're gearing up for the larger of our two annual conferences.

- The cat-sitting gig I had in November went great, and I recently landed a child-care gig helping keep three boys (8, 3, and 2) out of their mother's hair while she works from home. I got both of these jobs, plus a tutoring job that unfortunately fell through due to scheduling problems, at Care.com

- I'm an "Amateur Expert" (whatever that means) at Advice.LoveDetour.com. I seem to have found my niche in advising lovelorn teens. (Sunny, if you're reading this, I swear I'll get the breakup article to you soon!)

- I've been writing reviews for Buzzbin Magazine.

- Finally, I'm very excited about the Homeless Stand Down. I'll be at Pilgrim Congregational UCC on Saturday and the Cleveland Convention Center next Friday (thanks to my wonderful boss, who approved the vacation time).

I've also had some great quality time with family and friends. Playing with my 5-year-old nephew and my young cousins, spending time with my grandparents, really talking to my parents, bonding with new and old friends . . . priceless. I don't ever want to get so busy that I lose sight of the people in my life.

Lately, I've been short-tempered and rude with a couple of people who really didn't deserve it. My behavior was much more about me than it was about them. I got so focused on this, that, and the other thing that needed to be done that I forgot that there are *other human beings* involved in everything I do. They have needs, desires, and goals that are just as important as mine -- no more, no less. Thanks to a few honest people, I'm aware of how I've been acting, and I'm working to get unstuck.

Time to get back to work . . .

Cat lovers unite!

I'm cat-sitting for a woman who's out of the country until right before Thanksgiving (visiting family in the U.K.). She has eight cats, seven of whom are indoor-outdoor. I've never seen more than six at any given time and find myself compulsively checking cupboards, closets, under my car . . . anywhere a cat might fit.

Lessons I've learned so far:

1. To a cat, when your guardian is a tiny Asian woman with a soft British accent, a big noisy American is extremely frightening.
2. "Pauk Phaw" means "fat boy" in Burmese, so I have a new name to tease my Oliver with. (Oliver weighed 17 pounds at his last vet visit.)
3. Hardwood floors and carpet tiles are an extremely smart choice when you have a large number of cats (easier to clean up their various, ahem, emissions).
4. Cats like lemongrass. No, really.

By the way, I got this position through a wonderful site called Care.com. If you need a nanny, pet sitter, housekeeper, child or elder care worker, or tutor, this is a great way to connect. This is also excellent if you are looking for such a position.

How could I forget?

When I posted about Halloween party music last week, I completely forgot about the obvious -- anything Goth, industrial or similar. Basically, if you would hear it at the Chamber, it's all good. Dead Can Dance, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, Lords of Acid, The Cure, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

. . . And there was much rejoicing.

Regardless of who won, I am relieved that we have new blood in the White House. As an added bonus, now I don't have to start looking for English teaching positions overseas or applying to the Peace Corps. I'd rather not have to rehome my cats, and I'd go into furbaby withdrawal if I had to put them in quarantine (and I certainly don't want to take them anyplace where someone might perceive them as "lunch" instead of "beloved companions").

And I am definitely relieved that there are no more attack ads! I can safely turn on the TV again!

Pass the cheese, please!

Since I mentioned a couple movie and TV soundtracks in my previous blog entry, I may as well mention some of the other "nerdy" or "cheesy" things I enjoy. ("Nerdy" and "cheesy" being relative terms.)

1. Chinese restaurants in strip malls
2. Those poor hapless people who stand in mall food courts offering samples. They're so nice when I tell them, "Thanks, but I'm a vegetarian. It looks/smells good, though."
3. Infomercials for compilation CDs (really)
4. Second-run movie theatres
5. Musicals, and not just the fashionable ones like "Rent," "Mamma Mia," and "Spamalot." When "Moulin Rouge" was in the theatres, I went to see it, and my friend who was with me couldn't understand why I was chuckling at all the songs.
6. "Forbidden Broadway." A college friend got four comp tickets shortly after the Hanna reopened in 1998, and we had a blast!
7. The Capitol Steps. I got to see them live in Washington, D.C. when I was a senior in high school, and I was bummed that I couldn't see them when they were in Cleveland recently.
8. "Mystery Science Theater 3000." My brother and a sorority sister got me hooked on it in college.
9. Monty Python and Mel Brooks movies. The same brother made me crack up in Mass one day by whispering, in a perfect Cockney accent, "I think he said, 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.' " (The Gospel was the Sermon on the Mount, the line is from "Life of Brian")
10. "Backtracks USA" on Sunday nights, and 80s and 90s weekends on any radio station.
11. Seeing the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" in a theatre, complete with props and bawdy comments. Anyone know of a theatre in Cleveland/Akron that still plays it?

Please, anything but "Monster Mash" and "Thriller"!

Yes, I know the songs above are Halloween classics, but if you're looking for good music to play at your Halloween party, there are so many songs you could choose instead:

1. Smashing Pumpkins (duh), "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"
2. Black Sabbath, "Iron Man" and "War Pigs"
3. Nine Inch Nails, "Every Day is Exactly the Same," "The Hand that Feeds," "Only," and anything off "The Downward Spiral"
4. Mushroomhead, "Crazy" or "Sun Doesn't Rise"
5. Anything off Rob Zombie, "Hellbilly Deluxe"
6. White Zombie, "More Human Than Human"
7. Godsmack, "Voodoo"
8. Motley Crue, "Shout at the Devil"
9. Iggy Pop, "Search and Destroy"
10. Anything by Metallica, especially "Enter Sandman" [Aside: Check out Apocalyptica's "Plays Metallica by Four Cellos"]
11. Oxide Neutrino, "Devil's Nightmare" (You'll find this one on the "Tomb Raider" soundtrack, which is a great party album, BTW)
12. Queen, "Who Wants to Live Forever," "Princes of the Universe" ("Highlander" fans will recognize those two), and "Flash"
13. Alice in Chains, "Them Bones"
14. Pearl Jam, "Black," "Animal," "Spin the Black Circle," and "Last Kiss" (better avoid that last one if your guests are on the melancholy side)
15. Anything from "Songs in the Key of X: Music From and Inspired by the X-Files" or "The Crow" or "Lost Highway" soundtracks
16. Screamin' Jay Hawkins, "I Put a Spell on You"
17. Santana, "Black Magic Woman"

plus these two are just plain fun:

1. DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince, "Nightmare on My Street" (yes, really, before Will Smith was a hot movie star, he was a decent G-rated rapper)
2. "The Time Warp" from the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" soundtrack

BTW, if you've heard the urban legend about the Ohio Players' "Love Rollercoaster", make sure you follow the link to find out if it's true or not. Ditto about how KISS selected their name.