NEO musings

REALLY!

2009-04-01T13:34:00.002-04:00

I love you, Gmail. I love your great spam filters and ever-expanding storage. I love that my e-mail always looks professional with your name on the end. But you're disappointing me.

Checking my e-mail, I noticed a new feature called Gmail Autopilot by CADIE. Google offers this rationalization for this horrid aberration: "As more and more everyday communication takes place over email, lots of people have complained about how hard it is to read and respond to every message. This is because they actually read and respond to all their messages."

They continue with "How does Gmail mirror my communication style?
The more Gmail messages Autopilot can sample, the better. With fewer than 100 messages, there may not be enough data to calibrate Autopilot effectively. You can adjust tone, typo propensity, and preferred punctuation from the Autopilot tab under Settings."

In the immortal words of Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler, REALLY! Have we really gotten so lazy that we can't be bothered to reply to co-workers and bosses about projects, answer questions from clients, RSVP to friends and family, or even tell well-intentioned e-mail forwarders please to stop sending ridiculous chain letters and bogus urban legends?

It's true that we get really busy; for my part, I have entirely too many messages I haven't read (NOT personal messages, but e-newsletters and daily tips). But don't you think the people closest to us deserve personal attention, even of the cyber variety?

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Need a laugh?

2009-02-10T20:06:00.002-05:00

Enjoy! Much love to my friend Joyce for sending this.

I was all ready to write a scathing post . . .

2009-01-30T11:19:00.007-05:00

About how sick I am of hearing about the "economic crisis." There's always been an "economic crisis"; it's called poverty. But no one referred to it as a crisis till rich people and big corporations started losing money. I forgot that big corporations employ human beings, too.

I still stand by my original premise, though, that politicians, Republican and Democrat, have been ignoring the real crisis for years:

It's a crisis that loyal employees who've been with the same company for 30, 35, 40 years are being "right-sized" or "bought out" because their employer won't pay their salary and benefits.

It's a crisis that senior citizens and the working poor get caught in a double-bind -- too many assets or too much income for government assistance, not enough assets or income to be fully self-sufficient.

It's a crisis that there's not enough safe, healthy, appropriate housing for homeless people, particularly families.

It's a crisis that people with disabilities, particularly veterans with disabilities, have to go through a ridiculous amount of bureaucracy to get ANY sort of assistance.

It's a crisis that small businesses are hampered by so much bureaucracy and so many regulations that it's difficult to exist, let alone turn a profit.

It's a crisis that CEOs and company owners don't care that their employees are struggling and say things like "We're not going to participate in this bad economy," or "I'm getting my cut."

The biggest crisis: Everyone's looking for something -- or someone -- to blame. Illegal immigrants, big corporations, the "welfare state," capitalism, Satan, personal irresponsibility, you name it.

Here's a concept -- stop looking for faults, and start working on finding a solution. Buying a generator and stocking up on ammo and canned goods is NOT finding a solution. Neither is becoming a news junkie (or the flip side, going on a complete media fast because it's too depressing).

Kitteh pics

2009-01-29T11:23:00.002-05:00

Oliver doing his "cute face"

Rocky: "Yes, I know I'm handsome"

Bad blogger!

2009-01-29T10:59:00.005-05:00

Bad, bad blogger! No SEO rankings for you!

Seriously, I have been crazy-busy the last couple months. Blogging seems like just one more item on the (ever-lengthening) to-do list.

Here's some of what I've been up to:

- The full-time job has kept me busy. We've had five programs in the past two months, and we're gearing up for the larger of our two annual conferences.

- The cat-sitting gig I had in November went great, and I recently landed a child-care gig helping keep three boys (8, 3, and 2) out of their mother's hair while she works from home. I got both of these jobs, plus a tutoring job that unfortunately fell through due to scheduling problems, at Care.com

- I'm an "Amateur Expert" (whatever that means) at Advice.LoveDetour.com. I seem to have found my niche in advising lovelorn teens. (Sunny, if you're reading this, I swear I'll get the breakup article to you soon!)

- I've been writing reviews for Buzzbin Magazine.

- Finally, I'm very excited about the Homeless Stand Down. I'll be at Pilgrim Congregational UCC on Saturday and the Cleveland Convention Center next Friday (thanks to my wonderful boss, who approved the vacation time).

I've also had some great quality time with family and friends. Playing with my 5-year-old nephew and my young cousins, spending time with my grandparents, really talking to my parents, bonding with new and old friends . . . priceless. I don't ever want to get so busy that I lose sight of the people in my life.

Lately, I've been short-tempered and rude with a couple of people who really didn't deserve it. My behavior was much more about me than it was about them. I got so focused on this, that, and the other thing that needed to be done that I forgot that there are *other human beings* involved in everything I do. They have needs, desires, and goals that are just as important as mine -- no more, no less. Thanks to a few honest people, I'm aware of how I've been acting, and I'm working to get unstuck.

Time to get back to work . . .

Cat lovers unite!

2008-11-10T09:11:00.006-05:00

I'm cat-sitting for a woman who's out of the country until right before Thanksgiving (visiting family in the U.K.). She has eight cats, seven of whom are indoor-outdoor. I've never seen more than six at any given time and find myself compulsively checking cupboards, closets, under my car . . . anywhere a cat might fit.

Lessons I've learned so far:

1. To a cat, when your guardian is a tiny Asian woman with a soft British accent, a big noisy American is extremely frightening.
2. "Pauk Phaw" means "fat boy" in Burmese, so I have a new name to tease my Oliver with. (Oliver weighed 17 pounds at his last vet visit.)
3. Hardwood floors and carpet tiles are an extremely smart choice when you have a large number of cats (easier to clean up their various, ahem, emissions).
4. Cats like lemongrass. No, really.

By the way, I got this position through a wonderful site called Care.com. If you need a nanny, pet sitter, housekeeper, child or elder care worker, or tutor, this is a great way to connect. This is also excellent if you are looking for such a position.

How could I forget?

2008-11-05T14:26:00.003-05:00

When I posted about Halloween party music last week, I completely forgot about the obvious -- anything Goth, industrial or similar. Basically, if you would hear it at the Chamber, it's all good. Dead Can Dance, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, Lords of Acid, The Cure, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

. . . And there was much rejoicing.

2008-11-05T14:08:00.004-05:00

Regardless of who won, I am relieved that we have new blood in the White House. As an added bonus, now I don't have to start looking for English teaching positions overseas or applying to the Peace Corps. I'd rather not have to rehome my cats, and I'd go into furbaby withdrawal if I had to put them in quarantine (and I certainly don't want to take them anyplace where someone might perceive them as "lunch" instead of "beloved companions").

And I am definitely relieved that there are no more attack ads! I can safely turn on the TV again!

Pass the cheese, please!

2008-10-31T12:09:00.004-04:00

Since I mentioned a couple movie and TV soundtracks in my previous blog entry, I may as well mention some of the other "nerdy" or "cheesy" things I enjoy. ("Nerdy" and "cheesy" being relative terms.)

1. Chinese restaurants in strip malls
2. Those poor hapless people who stand in mall food courts offering samples. They're so nice when I tell them, "Thanks, but I'm a vegetarian. It looks/smells good, though."
3. Infomercials for compilation CDs (really)
4. Second-run movie theatres
5. Musicals, and not just the fashionable ones like "Rent," "Mamma Mia," and "Spamalot." When "Moulin Rouge" was in the theatres, I went to see it, and my friend who was with me couldn't understand why I was chuckling at all the songs.
6. "Forbidden Broadway." A college friend got four comp tickets shortly after the Hanna reopened in 1998, and we had a blast!
7. The Capitol Steps. I got to see them live in Washington, D.C. when I was a senior in high school, and I was bummed that I couldn't see them when they were in Cleveland recently.
8. "Mystery Science Theater 3000." My brother and a sorority sister got me hooked on it in college.
9. Monty Python and Mel Brooks movies. The same brother made me crack up in Mass one day by whispering, in a perfect Cockney accent, "I think he said, 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.' " (The Gospel was the Sermon on the Mount, the line is from "Life of Brian")
10. "Backtracks USA" on Sunday nights, and 80s and 90s weekends on any radio station.
11. Seeing the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" in a theatre, complete with props and bawdy comments. Anyone know of a theatre in Cleveland/Akron that still plays it?

Please, anything but "Monster Mash" and "Thriller"!

2008-10-31T11:18:00.004-04:00

Yes, I know the songs above are Halloween classics, but if you're looking for good music to play at your Halloween party, there are so many songs you could choose instead:

1. Smashing Pumpkins (duh), "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"
2. Black Sabbath, "Iron Man" and "War Pigs"
3. Nine Inch Nails, "Every Day is Exactly the Same," "The Hand that Feeds," "Only," and anything off "The Downward Spiral"
4. Mushroomhead, "Crazy" or "Sun Doesn't Rise"
5. Anything off Rob Zombie, "Hellbilly Deluxe"
6. White Zombie, "More Human Than Human"
7. Godsmack, "Voodoo"
8. Motley Crue, "Shout at the Devil"
9. Iggy Pop, "Search and Destroy"
10. Anything by Metallica, especially "Enter Sandman" [Aside: Check out Apocalyptica's "Plays Metallica by Four Cellos"]
11. Oxide Neutrino, "Devil's Nightmare" (You'll find this one on the "Tomb Raider" soundtrack, which is a great party album, BTW)
12. Queen, "Who Wants to Live Forever," "Princes of the Universe" ("Highlander" fans will recognize those two), and "Flash"
13. Alice in Chains, "Them Bones"
14. Pearl Jam, "Black," "Animal," "Spin the Black Circle," and "Last Kiss" (better avoid that last one if your guests are on the melancholy side)
15. Anything from "Songs in the Key of X: Music From and Inspired by the X-Files" or "The Crow" or "Lost Highway" soundtracks
16. Screamin' Jay Hawkins, "I Put a Spell on You"
17. Santana, "Black Magic Woman"

plus these two are just plain fun:

1. DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince, "Nightmare on My Street" (yes, really, before Will Smith was a hot movie star, he was a decent G-rated rapper)
2. "The Time Warp" from the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" soundtrack

BTW, if you've heard the urban legend about the Ohio Players' "Love Rollercoaster", make sure you follow the link to find out if it's true or not. Ditto about how KISS selected their name.

Is there a Pulitzer Prize for bloggers?

2008-10-28T15:40:00.003-04:00

Tami Winfrey Harris, who blogs on HuffingtonPost.com, totally deserves it if there is one. If there isn't, someone needs to create one.

This post should be required reading for any progressive, moderate, "crunchy con," or anyone who just hates to be pigeonholed.

Thanks to Jill Miller Zimon for sharing.

Even better than 43 things . . .

2008-10-28T15:14:00.003-04:00

Intent.com

Share your intents with others, read articles and blogs about topics such as relationships, health, spirituality, and green living.

Now to choose my first intent . . . hard to choose, there are so many! Do I choose "Live greener"? "Be more aware of where my money goes"? "Find fulfillment in my career, no matter where I'm working?" "Finally start working on that children's book I've been thinking about for years"? "Examine the patterns in my friendships and romantic relationships and determine what needs to change"? "Make peace with my body and with food"? Something else entirely?

The truth is out there . . . maybe

2008-10-21T09:49:00.004-04:00

FactCheck.org

Proceed with caution, though . . . you will be forced to think and may end up completely disillusioned by "politics as usual".

For my part, I'm going on a TV fast until after the election. I'm tired of the dishonesty and personal attacks (from both sides), and I'm really tired of the ads that assume voters are stupid. We're overwhelmed with the responsibilities of our daily lives, oversaturated with information, and disappointed in the way things have been going -- BUT WE ARE NOT STUPID! (Excuse me for yelling.) I may extend my media fast to radio as well. Either that or I'll have my therapist on speed dial.

Yet more about cover songs

2008-09-27T16:52:00.003-04:00

Some truly underrated cover albums:

Joan Baez, "Baez Sings Dylan"

Annie Lennox, "Medusa," especially "Waiting In Vain," "Whiter Shade of Pale," and "Train in Vain" (originals by Bob Marley and the Wailers, Procol Harum, and the Clash, respectively).

"Encomium: A Tribute to Led Zeppelin," especially Stone Temple Pilots' cover of "Dancing Days" and Sheryl Crow's cover of "D'yer Maker."

"Red Hot + Rhapsody," an album full of wonderful George Gershwin covers. Check out Sinead O'Connor's take on "Someone to Watch Over Me." Really, all the "Red Hot" albums are terrific, plus they've raised $7 million for AIDS relief worldwide.

All the "Reggae Pulse" CDs.

And some single tracks:

Bootsy Collins' cover of "Do You Love Me?" on the "Standing in the Shadows of Motown" soundtrack.

Aretha Franklin's version of "Nessun Dorma" (originally from the opera "Turandot") on "Ultimate Divas." Gives me goosebumps, even though I can't understand a word.

Cornershop's cover (in Punjabi) of the Beatles' "Norwegian Wood" on "When I Was Born for the Seventh Time."

Finally, I discovered this great album of reggae covers about six years ago. It had Toots and the Maytals doing "Start Me Up," Yami Bolo covering "Johnny B. Goode" and Chrisinti covering "Good Riddance (The Time of Your Life)". I loved it, but I can't remember the album title! Can anyone help me out?

Cover songs, part II

2008-09-27T14:47:00.002-04:00

And then there were the ones that should have been left alone. You just don't tamper with perfection.

Disclaimer: My commentary does not reflect on the artists, some of whom I absolutely love. But anyone can make a bad decision, including otherwise talented people.

"Blinded by the Light" -- original by Manfred Mann, cover by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Nothing against the Boss, but this was not one of his better moments.

"White Lines" -- original by Grandmaster Flash, cover by Duran Duran.

"Lean on Me" -- original by Bill Withers, cover by Club Nouveau. To quote the Marvelettes, "Don't mess with Bill."

"Another Saturday Night" -- original by Sam Cooke, cover by Cat Stevens.

"Pretty Woman" -- original by Roy Orbison, cover by Van Halen.

"Papa Don't Preach" -- original by Madonna, cover by Kelly Osbourne. Kelly, you should have stuck to what you know best, namely, driving your parents crazy.

"Big Yellow Taxi" -- original by Joni Mitchell, cover by Counting Crows. Although the song's even more appropriate in this decade than it was in 1970, Adam Duritz et al. really didn't do it justice. Sorry guys.

"The Loco-Motion" -- original by Little Eva, cover by Grand Funk Railroad. (Aside: Kylie Minogue covered it much better in 1988.)

"Behind Blue Eyes" -- original by The Who, cover by Limp Bizkit. The former captures existential alienation; the latter is just whiny.

"Ooh Child" -- original by the Five Stairsteps, also done beautifully by Nina Simone and Beth Orton. Dino, on the other hand . . . but then maybe that's just my inner horror at most things associated with high school coming out.

"Didn't I (Blow Your Mind This Time)" -- original by The Delfonics, cover by New Kids on the Block. See above.

"These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" -- original by Nancy Sinatra, cover by Jessica Simpson. Can you say, "gimmick"?

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" -- original by Nirvana, cover by Tori Amos. I normally love Tori, but her piano work and gorgeous voice don't fit this herald of the grunge era very well.

Change in focus

2008-09-27T14:31:00.005-04:00

I've decided I'd like to go back to my original focus on Cleveland-area culture: sports, art, music, theatre, literature, journalism, dining, and lifestyles in general. I'd also like to expand this to a larger scale and talk about pop culture in a societal context.

In that spirit, I'll be offering several blog entries about music and a weekly poll question about cover songs. I know "cover songs" are a dirty phrase to some musicians, but the right artist can make a bad song good and a good song great. To wit:

"I Fought the Law" -- original by Sonny Curtis and the Crickets, covered by many artists, including Bobby Fuller, the Clash (my personal favorite), and Green Day

"All Along the Watchtower" -- original by Bob Dylan, covered by Jimi Hendrix

"Sweet Jane" -- original by Lou Reed, covered by Cowboy Junkies

"Georgia on My Mind" -- original by Hoagy Carmichael, covered by Ray Charles (my favorite) and others

"Alabama Song" -- originally written for a German songspiel called "Mahoganny" in 1927 (!), covered by many artists, most brilliantly by the Doors

"Your Mama Don't Dance" -- original by Loggins and Messina, covered by Poison. Yes, I just admitted I like Poison. Deal with it, music snobs.

"Nothing Compares 2 U" -- original by Prince, covered brilliantly by Sinead O'Connor

"Joy to the World" -- original by Hoyt Axton, covered by Three Dog Night

"Some Kind of Wonderful" -- original by Grand Funk Railroad, covered best by Joss Stone and interestingly enough, by Christian artist Mark Farner

"Livin' After Midnight" -- Judas Priest's original was brilliant, but the Donnas' cover put a whole new, fun spin on it.

"Mony Mony" -- original by Tommy James and the Shondells, covered by Billy Idol. That one got a good many of my classmates in trouble in high school for the call-and-response, "Hey, hey what . . ." (if you were in your teens or 20s during the late 1980s, you know the rest, plus my Mom might be reading this, so I'm not going to finish it, okay?)

"I Don't Like Mondays" -- Tori Amos adds a certain haunting dimension to the Boomtown Rats' original.

Fun social experiment

2008-09-16T15:16:00.001-04:00

Based on a story in this month's Cleveland magazine. Check it out here.

While we're complaining about technology . . .

2008-09-09T19:57:00.003-04:00

Spammers really irk me. Clearly there are way too many people who have a great deal of intelligence but are unable to channel it into, say, preventing another blackout, coming up with a renewable energy source that isn't dependent on climate, or solving world hunger. No, they have to spend their time writing viruses and worms that clutter up my inbox and junk mail folder.

I AM A WOMAN! I am not interested in cheap Viagra or Cialis, or in any (ahem) "techniques to improve my size."
I have a perfectly good job, and even if I were looking, I'd want a gig where I'd actually be on the payroll and get a W-2 at the end of the year instead of getting paid by wire transfers.
I know where I bank and where I have credit cards. I'm not going to fall for a phishing e-mail.
I don't want a payday advance. Those cause way too many problems for people.
I really don't want to get links to pornographic videos, especially not at my work account.

Will someone please come up with a way to get rid of spam?

An open letter to well-intentioned e-mail forwarders

2008-07-30T12:39:00.003-04:00

So you just got this *awesome* e-mail forward from your mom/sister/coworker/college friend you haven't seen in person for 15 years. Cool. But before you forward to your entire e-mail list, please consider the following:

1. Is it true? If you get an e-mail virus warning, an inspirational piece ostensibly penned by a celebrity (who presumably has nothing better to do) or a story about a $250 cookie recipe, it's probably bogus. Snopes.com is a helpful site for finding out what's true and what's not.

2. How well do you know the person you're forwarding it to? For example, you don't want to forward a piece about the quality of American public schools and find out the person you forwarded to is a teacher in a cash-strapped urban or rural school.

3. If you do know the person you're forwarding it to very well, are you sure they *want* to read an anti-Barack Obama/anti-John McCain screed, a series of ethnic or sexist jokes, or a monologue about the connection between illegal immigration and increased crime?

4. Is an e-mail forward a legitimate way to keep in touch? If someone is that important that they're in your address book, surely you can take a couple minutes to write a personal note, or better yet, give them a call or send a snail mail letter or card.

Finally, if you get one of these, remember, the "Reply All" option is not your friend.

More to come . . .

2008-07-23T08:42:00.002-04:00

I've been inactive for a while for a variety of reasons, including my questioning just why I'm blogging in the first place and what is OK and not OK to blog about if I want to keep my career and my family's trust.

I've also been busy seeking out additional freelance writing assignments, and I've finally found a couple of exciting possibilities. Will talk more about them later.

Thank you Loretta LaRoche!

2008-06-19T17:02:00.003-04:00

I've been feeling extremely annoyed today. I spent half my afternoon (or maybe it just seems like it) on the phone with Dell and with the USPS, and the other half (again, maybe it just seems like it) deleting junk mail. To top it off, all I seem to see or hear about on the news is people lying to, insulting, cheating, stealing from, or physically or psychologically abusing each other.

Well, in order to prevent myself from having to run out of the building screaming, I decided to do a dogpile search on the phrase "get over yourselves" just to see what would turn up. And . . . I rediscovered the wonderful writer and speaker Loretta LaRoche, who wrote an article titled "Get Over Yourselves and Join the Community" for the Patriot Ledger back in January.

Maybe the reason we're so angry is because we don't feel truly connected to each other. How did this happen? I'm not sure, and maybe that's not all that important. Maybe what really counts is how we go about fixing it.

Visit Loretta at Loretta LaRoche, and enjoy, because, as she says, "Life is not a stress rehearsal."

Father's Day Gratitude

2008-06-12T17:19:00.003-04:00

My dad's not fond of computers and so is not likely to see this (unless my mom prints it for him), but I just have to post about how awesome he is and how blessed I am that he's my dad. Tim is truly one in a million for many reasons. So many of my female friends and peers were not blessed with fathers like him; theirs were absent, abusive, ill, addicted, or just trapped in restrictive male gender roles. Those of my friends who were blessed with good fathers don't necessarily have them here on Earth any more.

Here are just a few of the reasons my Dad is great:

When my brother and I were small, Dad worked days and Mom worked nights; it couldn't have been easy for them only to see each other for a couple hours a day, but someone was always there for us.
He did (and still does) all the "manly" chores like washing the car and cutting the grass, but didn't (and still doesn't) consider himself above cooking, doing dishes, dusting and vacuuming. What's more, he made it clear that my brother and I should do the same. The only reason I rarely cut the grass was because I made the lawn look like aliens had landed there and had some weird ceremony, not because I was a girl.
He was always willing to get involved with our games or our homework, and now I see him doing the same with my nephew Michael.
He taught me about faith, gratitude, patience and tolerance, and he used words only when absolutely necessary.
He taught me that there are a lot more good men than bad ones in this world, and that the good ones are worth waiting for and working with.
He's always there when he's needed, without making a big production about it.

Dad's not the only great man in my life, fortunately. He's the second oldest of five brothers, all of whom are also great men in their own right. Uncle Jim shares my love of writing. Uncle Tom shares my passion for teaching and learning. Uncle Pat and Uncle John, both entrepreneurs, teach me about taking risks. Uncle Jim's son, my cousin Jim, is a dedicated funeral director and loving husband and father to his three kids. Uncle Tom's son, my cousin Brian, is an extremely gifted musician and artist. Uncle John's son, Shane, is an up-and-coming sports journalist and an awesome big brother to his little sister Ryann. I don't know Uncle Pat's stepson Eric very well, but on the occasions that I have seen him, I've observed what a great dad he is to his kids.

My brother Sean is another one of those great men. He's grown from the big kid that all the little ones were always following to a terrific dad to his son. He's taken what he learned from theatre and music about leadership and applied it to his job. And despite all the demands on his life, he's always hung on to his interest in writing.

Then there's Grandpa, James Arthur. He turns 90 in four days, and he merits his own blog entry, which he will definitely get.

Mental battery check

2008-06-06T11:07:00.006-04:00

Change, like charity, has to begin at home. Therefore, I've instituted a new policy for myself, in hopes that it will encourage me to be more positive in my thoughts and actions.

I am attempting to replace the following negative behaviors with positive ones:

Visiting web sites or reading publications where I know the content will make me angry;
Engaging in pointless arguments with people;
Coming back with (or even thinking about) snarky replies when I hear something I don't agree with or don't like;
Judging people (even mentally) based on their real or perceived level of competence;
Swearing;
Not speaking up for myself when it is in fact necessary, and then getting passive-aggressive when people don't do what I want.
Not taking care of my body, mind and spirit and then wondering why I'm miserable.

I'm not sure whether a reward or punishment system would work better; would it make more sense to fine myself a set amount for each negative behavior or offer myself an incentive for each day/week/month I abstain from said negative behavior?

Readers: What works best for you when trying to break a bad habit?

An open letter to my readers (in and out of NEO)

2008-06-02T18:40:00.004-04:00

Here's the deal. I know you're mad, and I can't say I blame you. Gas is $4 a gallon or higher (I spotted $4.09 on East 30th and Carnegie yesterday), groceries are getting more expensive as a result, and nothing else is getting cheaper either. The Presidential race has turned into a bunch of spoiled brats screaming at each other (politicians and pundits alike), our state and local governments are equally screwed up, and Paris Hilton is still allowed to roam freely in the streets.

And on top of these and the other myriad reasons that the state of the world is so depressing, our local and national media are bent on making it worse by reminding us of all the horror that's out there *every time we leave our homes*.

Sheesh. Almost makes you want to move to Walden Pond or in with that recently discovered tribe in Brazil.

But I'm going to challenge myself first, and then all of you. I'm only making one simple request: whatever's making you mad, please don't take it out on some innocent person. Not your spouse or partner. Not your kids. Not your parents. Not your buddies. Not your assistant or your boss. Not the police or fire department or EMS. Not your therapist, even if he/she does bill $105 an hour. Certainly not the poor hapless service professionals who get the same hourly wage regardless of how much gas or anything else costs. Not even Plain Dealer reporters or anonymous strangers on the 'Net.

So, you ask (as I often ask), "What do I do with my anger?" If you believe in God, pray. If you don't, find something or someone to believe in, and talk to him/her/it. Journal. If you work a 12-step program, get to a meeting. If you don't, consider whether you could benefit from one. Cry or scream into a pillow if you must. Do whatever it takes to take care of yourself.

Then, after you've done that, do something kind for someone else, but don't make a big production about it or get attached to the results. Do it just because you can and just because it's the right thing to do.

The world is cruel enough. Let's try to be kinder to each other, regardless of what we think of each other's opinions or lifestyles.

Think globally, eat locally

2008-05-30T13:13:00.003-04:00

In an effort to reduce three figures that are entirely too large (1. my debt 2. my carbon footprint 3. my weight), I have set myself a new challenge. I've made a new set of goals for the next year (yes, I know it's June, I'm going by the fiscal year calendar, which starts on June 30).

Challenge: To find lunch or dinner for less than $5 that is vegetarian and does not involve fast food, non-Ohio-based chain restaurants, or junk food.

The obvious solutions are to cook and to brown-bag lunch from home, both of which I do most days. But on the days when I don't (no time, haven't been shopping, was in too much of a hurry to get out the door). I'd like to have some local, healthy inexpensive options that won't have me ravenous by mid-afternoon.

Today's stop was Koko Bakery on Payne Avenue. I found two huge, delicious steamed vegetable buns and a baked bun (really more like a doughnut) filled with red bean paste. Total damage with a can of soda and counting the cream bun that I picked up as a treat for my boyfriend? $5.30. OK, I'm 30 cents over, but it's a start.

I may never be a true locavore like the folks in the Northeast Ohio Slow Food Convivium (http://www.slowfoodnorthernohio.blogspot.com/), but they certainly give me a great standard to attempt to live up to. In any case, I'm going to work hard to break my fast food/chain restaurant habit.

Gratitude list, v.05.21.08

2008-05-22T11:05:00.003-04:00

People who call me on my nonsense, when done in a loving way. I went a little (okay, a lot) off the deep end yesterday, and was fortunate to get a blog comment from one of my cousins reminding me to be less judgmental. Helene (or maybe it was Heather), I apologize for the "grammar Nazi" tangent, and please know that I totally didn't mean you.
Opportunities to practice patience and tolerance.
Medical and dental insurance.
All the great people in my face-to-face life.
Deadlines, because it means I'm accountable to someone and what I do matters.
Pain (physical or emotional), because it reminds me that something is no longer working and needs to change.

Excuse me while I rant this out . . .

2008-05-21T15:27:00.006-04:00

I am so tired of . . .

--The lousy spam filter on my e-mail at work. I get probably 75-100 junk mails a day, and that's not even counting the ones that get routed to the Junk Mail folder. My Gmail and Yahoo filters work better than that.

--People who think it's OK to abuse other people on the net. I've found out that the cleveland.com forums and Craigslist rants and raves are very bad places for me to spend time; if I'm in a good mood, it takes me out of it, if I'm in a bad mood it makes it worse.

--This web site I found a couple days ago: Anger Central. Seems like a good idea, but the webmaster gets off on insulting posters, and the posters get off on insulting each other and random people/places/things.

--Nasty people who respond to someone else's opinion or emotions by mocking, manipulating, or abusing the other person.

--Political commercials. It's only May and I'm already fed up. I know how I'm voting, and some emotionally blackmailing, multi-million-dollar 30-second spot is not going to convince me otherwise.

--People who are famous only for being rich, related to someone famous, incredibly stupid, or attention-seekers. Get some real talent already.

--Verbal fungi: "like," "you know," "whatever," "dude," "man," "okay," "see," et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

--Sales calls, especially automated ones. This is why I don't have a landline phone.

--When otherwise intelligent people forward ridiculous e-mails without checking to see if they're true. Snopes.com is a great site -- know it, use it, love it.

--E-mail forwards that state that I'm not a good friend/don't love the United States/don't believe in God if I don't forward them. I'm not a perfect friend, but I do make myself available as much as I can; if you doubt my feelings for you because of my not forwarding something or resending it to you, I think we must have some other problem you're not telling me about. I highly doubt that some little-known government agency is keeping track of who forwards patriotic screeds, who files them, and who deletes them. And I sincerely hope that God knows that it's what I do when I'm away from the computer that counts most when showing how much I love Him.

OK, done ranting now. Back later with a gratitude list.

Edit: I apologize for my "bad spelling and bad grammar" complaint. I didn't mean anyone I know when making that statement. As I mentioned, I know a good many intelligent people who think faster than they type, and their spelling and grammar doesn't reflect how intelligent they really are. I know you're not doing it deliberately. I mean people like Gretchen Wilson, who titled one of her songs "Politically Uncorrect" just to be self-righteous. I honestly didn't mean to offend anyone, and if I did, I'm really sorry.

My new favorite time waster . . .

2008-05-13T20:45:00.002-04:00

GraphJam, from the minds who brought you LOLcats and more.

Just so you know . . .

2008-05-13T20:23:00.002-04:00

I'm on MySpace, too at www.myspace.com/neocreativegenius. I consider that more of my "fun" page.

I'm also on Facebook but forgot my login and password and so haven't updated in a while . . .

In stitches

2008-05-12T18:06:00.003-04:00

I ran into Jessica M., this very cool girl I know, on Saturday night, and I finally got the nerve to ask her to teach me to crochet. [Aside if my Oma is reading this: Oma, if I lived closer to you, I would ask you to work with me, but: 1) I know you're busy with the quilt (a beautiful but insanely complex pattern that will be finished by approximately 2012) and 2) I wouldn't want you to be offended by my language after Oliver and Rocky destroy 3 feet of perfect single crochet.]

I need some help with basic principles, though:

1) Is the term "fiber arts" a nifty little catch-all for knitting, crocheting, cross-stitch, etc.? Or does it just sound really pretentious?
2) How do I overcome my mental block about casting on?
3) How do I turn around at the end of a row so that I don't end up with 15 feet of single crochet (read: cat toy/recipe for mega-$ vet trip)?
4) Do I make my boyfriend sign a contract before making him a scarf? How about a hat?

I know Jessica's not the sort to laugh if I ask her these questions privately, but I thought I'd pitch them into the blogosphere, too and see what comes back.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-12T16:08:00.009-04:00

I know this is a day late, but there's no wrong time to honor our mothers, especially if they are/were anything like the women in my family.

Happy Mother's Day to all moms, grandmas, great-grandmas, stepmoms, moms-to-be, aunts, godmothers, and other awesome women! Special praise to the tribes I came from:

Mom Judy. I know I wasn't the easiest daughter to raise, so thank you for, among other things, never giving up on me.
Grandma Dorothy
Oma Eleonore
Aunts: Bridget, Barbara, Kimberle, Deon, Amy
Cousins: Julie, Karen, Helene, Heather, Margo, Erin, Krista, Ryann, Kat, Regina. (Not all of you are moms yet, but you're still important to me.)
Sister-in-law Nicole. We've had our difficult moments, I know, but you mean more to me than you'll ever know, and not just because you gave birth to the cutest 4-year-old boy in the world.
Friends: Too many to list, but special mentions to Jen, Jaime, Joyce, Lori, two Cindys, Katy S., Regina T., Lynn, Becky H., Karen S, two Terris and a Terry, two Barbs, Naomi, Amy, Adeline, Hallie. (Please refer to "cousins" comment above.) If I forgot your name, that doesn't mean that I forgot you, just that I'm blessed to have so many awesome women in my life.
My friends' mothers whom I've had the pleasure to meet, especially Mary, mom to my best friend from high school Tiffany, and Lata, mom to my best grade school friend Parul.
Teachers. Not all of you were moms, but you did help me give birth to my potential. Special thanks to Sister Susanne Gill, HM, pastoral associate at Nativity of the Lord Jesus Catholic Church; Mrs. Gay Evans, my French I and II teacher who met with me early in the mornings so that I could do two years of French in one year; Mrs. Wanda Clark, my Spanish I-III teacher who is also a Zeta Tau Alpha sister; Mrs. Laurie Boedicker, who taught me that science is a terrific pursuit for women, too; Mrs. Janice Schrag, who kindled my lifetime love of volunteering; Dr. Susan Oldrieve, who said that yes, a woman could finish a Ph.D. while raising three small children; and Lisa Goss and Anika Summers, who said "Go for it," no matter how nutty the story idea was.
In a category all her own: my seventh-grade science teacher, Mrs. JoAnn Marcincoski, who brings new meaning to the term "Renaissance woman."
Lest I forget, my Zeta Tau Alpha sisters, whether I've met you or not. Special thanks to my big sister Melanie Nichols. I miss you and think about you often.

You have all taught me so much about being a woman. If I attempted to list everything I've learned from all of you, I would dissolve in a puddle of grateful tears, so I'll just keep it to "Thank you for being such great role models to me."

Rave: Customer service is not dead!

2008-05-05T12:12:00.003-04:00

As much as I try to support local and small businesses and will continue to do, I often find myself patronizing "big box" merchants for the sake of convenience, selection or cost. I have at times been disappointed with the customer service (or lack thereof) at some of these places. Not so recently. I want to take this opportunity to praise:

CVS at Ridge Road and Route 82 (Royalton Road) in North Royalton. Last spring, I brought over a picture of my parents to make copies for a Mother's Day present for my mom and both grandmothers. I accidentally left it on the machine and never came back to pick it up. The store manager called me a couple of times this winter to let me know, but for one reason or another, I didn't make it back into the store. Saturday, I finally was able to stop in -- they still had the original plus two sheets of copies, almost a year later. When I asked if I owed them anything, they said no.

Wal-Mart on Pearl Road in Strongsville. A lady I met recently asked me to take her shopping there, and we took over the Fabric and Crafts department for the better part of an hour. My new friend has mental health issues and some social anxiety and was having trouble making up her mind about what she wanted. May and Barbara, the two ladies working in the department, were extremely professional, patient and friendly with her.

National City Bank on Royalton Road in North Royalton. Paris, one of the tellers, has pictures of cats and dogs (both her own and other people's) at her work station, with a note that says, "No, they're not all mine!" and arrows pointing to the ones that are hers. Being an animal lover myself, I always appreciate when someone else is.

National City Bank on East 40th Street and Chester Avenue. I've always had good experiences with that branch, but Jing, my teller on the day that I came in, was particularly friendly and helpful.

Also want to give shout-outs to these small businesses:

Phoenix Coffee House on Coventry -- Loved the Thai bubble tea and appreciated the recommendation!

Grog Shop -- Thanks for the canteen of water behind the bar, as opposed to charging outrageous prices for a bottle of water!

Bier-Markt -- I'm not usually a big fan of thin-crust pizza, but yours totally deserves that "Best Pizza in Cleveland" award you got from Epicure. Loved your "butler" (impossibly cute Wheaton Terrier Tyler), too, even if he did eat one of our antipasto plates.

Support your local restaurants!

2008-05-01T16:51:00.003-04:00

As part of my "How to be a non-cliched Northeast Ohioan" challenge to my readers and myself, I am working on supporting more local businesses. Anyone who knows me knows I love to eat, so I'll start by listing some of my favorite local restaurants:

Expressway Diner, 5109 Memphis Avenue. Great place for ginormous omelets stuffed with everything but the kitchen sink. They make a good Greek salad, too.
Tommy's, 1824 Coventry Road, Cleveland Heights. Very veg-friendly, but carnivores will be comfortable here, too.
Aladdin's, all over Cuyahoga County (I like the Middleburg Heights one, personally). A great place to test the waters with Middle Eastern food.
Melt Bar and Grilled, 14718 Detroit Avenue, Lakewood. Who knew grilled cheese could be a spiritual experience? Not me, till I tried the Spinach Pie, which features spinach, roasted red peppers, grilled onions and feta on ridiculously thick sourdough bread.
Malley's, 14822 Madison Avenue, Lakewood. Fun place to take kids (yours or someone else's) out for ice cream if it's raining, the dead of winter, or so hot outside that standing in line at Honey Hut (love them too, BTW) seems like torture.
The Diner on Clifton, 11637 Clifton Boulevard. Their Snickers cheesecake should be renamed the eighth deadly sin.
Lelolai Bakery and Cafe, 1889 West 25th Street. Same thing, only it's chocolate chip cheesecake. And the Pastel de Tres Leches (Cake With Three Milks) looks like you could gain ten pounds just reading about it on the menu. Yummy Cuban sandwiches, too.
Tea House Noodles, 1900 East 6th Street and 2218 Murray Hill Road. One of their noodle or rice bowls is a delicious way to atone for the aforementioned cheesecakes. The Rica sauce is not for the faint of heart.
Sakura Japanese Restaurant, 15400 Detroit Avenue, Lakewood and 8409 Chippewa Road, Brecksville. A little pricy but totally worth it for a special occasion. The hibachi chefs are a blast to watch.
Red Chimney, 6501 Fleet Avenue. The neighborhood needs a lot of help, but for a plate of their pierogi, it's worth it. Think of dinner there as contributing to the economic development of the inner city.
Luchita's, 3456 West 117th Street and 7431 Ridge Road, Parma (I know there used to be one in Shaker Square -- is it still open?). Real Mexican food, and the freshest salsa I've ever eaten.
Mi Pueblo, 11611 Euclid Avenue. Ditto Luchita's description, and add strolling mariachi players. How cool is that?
Rascal House, 2064 Euclid Avenue. One of those traditional college hangouts that also manages to make a pretty good pizza.

Add your own favorites . . .

How to be a non-cliched Northeast Ohioan

2008-04-30T11:36:00.003-04:00

After a long time without looking at Craigslist Rants and Raves, I relapsed and came across a couple of angry, racist posts about "How to be a non-cliched black person in Cleveland" and "How to be a non-cliched white person in Cleveland." While I didn't care for the tone of the posts (and the grammar and spelling was putrid), it did get me thinking. Here I offer a positive response to both posts:

How to be a Non-Cliche Northeast Ohioan

Get involved in something beyond yourself and your immediate circle. Whatever makes you passionate -- the arts, the environment, health care reform, politics -- do something about it. My friend Mike has a daughter with a genetic disorder, so he and his wife volunteer to raise awareness and funds for research for that disorder. If you don't have a passion, find one.
Corollary to #1: If you were given a performance review for your performance as a citizen, voting and doing nothing else would earn you a "Meets Minimum Expectations." It's great, but it's not enough.
Expand your horizons. Don't be afraid of the Euclid Corridor construction or the West 14th Street/Quigley Avenue roundabout. Check out something new. If you're a West Sider, have dinner at Tommy's (get the falafel and split an order of fries) and then go to a concert at CIM. If you're an East Sider, go to Liquid Planet and follow up with a walk at Lakewood Park. Bonus points if you take RTA or carpool.
Challenge yourself to see the positive. Venting is not necessarily a bad thing, but if it's all you do, that's dangerous. This is a nifty web site to get you thinking positively: http://www.10000littleideas.com/index.html.
Whatever you're holding on to, whether it's the Indians losing in game 7 in 1997 or Dennis Kucinich's term as Mayor of Cleveland or something closer to home, get over it already. Let it go and move on (and if you figure out how to do that, please let me know!).
Support local businesses. Another one where I can do better, and I want my readers to hold me to it.

Add your ideas . . .

As I promised

2008-04-30T11:26:00.002-04:00

Sorry it took so long for me to post these! There's a wealth of good resources out there; here I'm trying to put together the best of the best.

For people who are suicidal: http://www.samaritans.org/ and http://www.befrienders.org.

For survivors of suicide or those wanting to help a suicidal person: Same links plus this one -- http://www.survivorsofsuicide.com/

For grief support in general: http://www.cornerstoneofhope.org/ and http://www.hospicewr.org/

For education about mental illnesses and support for people with mental illness and those who love them: http://www.nami.org/ and http://www.dbsalliance.org/

Not for everyone but worth a try once you're feeling a little better: http://www.emotionsanonymous.org/ and http://www.recovery-inc.org/

A great clearinghouse for just about anything you could possibly want to know about mental illness: http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.html

Of course, none of these are a substitute for good, in-person professional help, but they can get you started in the right direction.

Memories and hope

2008-04-18T17:09:00.005-04:00

Tuesday was the anniversary of my Uncle Ron's death. I miss him terribly, and I know the rest of my family does, too, but I couldn't help but smile as I was in my class Tuesday evening and think, "I hope I'm making him proud."

My beloved uncle was a man of many talents and many roles. The way most people outside of our family knew him best, though, was as a journalist. His career included stints at the Akron Beacon Journal and the Sunday Herald in Fairfield County, Connecticut. He then joined the U.S. Army as a journalist and subject matter expert for the Defense Information School in Indianapolis. After his retirement from the Army, he joined the staff of the Journal-Gazette in Fort Wayne.

Uncle Ron had a lot of gifts, but sadly, he also had a lot of pain. Like so many other great artists, he suffered from depression a good deal of his life, and like far too many of those great artists, he chose to end his life rather than seek help for his pain.

We reacted to Uncle Ron's suicide the way so many families do: with shock, anger, sadness, and mostly doing the best we could to reach out to each other. In my case, there was a good deal of "survivors' guilt" mixed in. I, too, live with depression, and I have felt at times that I wasn't worth my carbon footprint and the world would be a far better place without me. What makes one person seek the solace of a good therapist and antidepressants while another chooses the solace of a bullet, a noose or a jump off of a bridge? I don't think I'm any stronger than he was, and I certainly don't claim to be wiser. All I can say is that somewhere it sank in that suicide is a "permanent solution to a temporary problem" and that no matter how bad life may be at any given moment, it can and will get better.

If there's anyone reading this who is suicidal or just in a great deal of pain, please know that things really do get better, and there's all kinds of help if you only reach out to take it. Please also know that no matter how lonely you are, there's at least one person somewhere on this planet who loves you very much and would miss you terribly if you were gone. Finally, please remember that life is a precious gift from God as you understand Him/Her/It/Them, and that there is a purpose for you here and your job is to find it and fulfill it. What I've learned in the course of the past few years is that my purpose is to be of service to God and my fellow beings, and one way I can do it is through writing.

If there's anyone reading this who knows and loves someone who is suicidal or who has taken his or her own life, I understand your pain, and there are many ways you can help and receive help for yourself. I'll post some links within the next few days.

May God bless and watch over all of you.

Writing resume

2008-04-18T17:05:00.003-04:00

So I'm taking this six-week class called "Six Steps to PR Success for Nonprofits," and it occurred to me that not only should I add it to my resume, but I also should revamp my resume (if my bosses are reading this, no, I'm not looking for a job, I'm happy). From that came the idea that I need a resume specific to writing. I spent Tuesday night after my class working on both.

I'll post them once I've got them the way I like. Any and all (constructive or positive) feedback is welcome.

Updates

2008-03-26T17:48:00.002-04:00

Glad to be back! My flu from hell turned into bronchitis, and I had two breakfast programs and a conference for my job, but now that things have settled down, I'm back to posting.

So here's what I'm up to:

Still looking for a photographer to work with me covering concerts this summer. It's for CleveRock.com, a great site with album and concert reviews, interviews, and contests. They're relatively new and so can't pay for stories and photos yet but do offer complimentary tickets to the reviewers.
Joined the Cleveland Writers Meetup Group and the Friday the 13th Poets Meetup Group. Go to meetup.com to find out more about these groups.
Started going to a meditation class at Cleveland Shambhala Meditation Group. Although I consider myself a Christian, I'm open to learning about any way to get closer to God as I understand Him.
Still looking for an Artist's Way group. I got an e-mail some time ago from someone starting a group in Lakewood and got lost trying to find it. Then between being sick and being busy with work, I never tried looking for it again.
Deciding where I want to commit my time, talent and treasure (besides my family, friends, creative and spiritual pursuits and job). Veronica Chambers, in her excellent book The Joy of Doing Things Badly, recommends focusing your charitable giving on one organization that means a great deal to you (she chose her alma mater, Bard College at Simon's Rock). It makes a lot of sense to me, but how to choose? I can think of so many things I want to do -- starting a scholarship fund for aspiring journalists in memory of my Uncle Ron, opening a green sober house for women, educating preteens and teens about job skills, having a vegetarian soup kitchen or a sanctuary for pets whose guardians can no longer take care of them. I face the same dilemma with my time. In the past 20-something years, I've done everything from reading to kindergartners (God bless my fifth-grade teacher Mrs. Schrag, who wanted to challenge me and pointed me in this direction) to working at a $50-a-plate reverse raffle. I've almost always loved what I did, but I feel like I need to find a place to focus. There are so many things I'm passionate about -- how can I choose just one or two? Is it even possible or desirable?
Oh yes, and being a little selfish. I got a bonus at work, and while most of it went toward bills, I spent some of it getting spruced up for spring. I'll admit to being a little shallow -- while looking good on the outside won't fix serious issues of mind or spirit, sometimes the right shade of (cruelty-free, of course) lipstick is just the nudge I need to get me doing what will make me feel better on the inside.

I'm also on Twitter now and so will try to post a few lines there where I might not have time for a full blog entry.

Away for a while

2008-03-06T18:20:00.003-05:00

I'm afraid I'm going to continue my pattern of infrequent posting for a while. Between work and my personal life, and now the flu from hell, I'm not going to have much time or energy to post, but as soon as things settle down, I'll be back.

What will be keeping me busy besides my job and personal life? Getting to know Writers Market very well. I'm looking for some new places to pitch my writing -- any suggestions, let me know.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to curl up with the cats, a pot of tea, and a trashy novel . . .

Crystal Blue Persuasion

2008-02-27T17:24:00.003-05:00

Can't think of a reason why that song title popped into my head. Yes, I'm a classic rock nerd and a hippie at heart, but it just seems to be a good reflection of what I've been feeling lately. I'm not crazy about the fact that it's still winter, things are a little nutty at work, and I'm a little stressed about money. But really, I feel great. I look at what I have (and on some days, what I don't have) and realize I'm really quite blessed.

Yesterday was my 33rd birthday, an especially excellent opportunity to meditate on the good things that are in my life and the good things that I want in my life.

First of all, I'm grateful that I'm sober. I'm especially grateful that I got sober young enough that I can still have 50 or more productive, positive years if I do the right thing one day at a time.
I'm grateful I have a job where my boss says my contributions are valuable and means it. Even if I don't get a pay rise any time soon, a sincere "Great job" or being trusted with a big assignment is priceless.
I'm grateful for my family. My parents are still married to each other (it'll be 34 years in May) and are an excellent example of what I want in a relationship. I have three living grandparents who are still quite healthy and mentally with it. I'm starting to see them get frail, but they're not letting anything, not even getting old, grind them down. I have the cutest nephew on the planet (I'll post some pics soon). Even though my brother and sister-in-law and I have our issues sometimes, I know they've got my back if anything goes wrong and vice versa. I have an awesome extended family, including a cousin whom I also consider one of my best friends (check out her blog CSA days -- there's a link to it on my page). Even the sad things that have happened to my family in the past year have been a reminder of how blessed I really am that we come together and support each other when times get difficult, rather than running away.
I'm grateful for my "other" family -- my friends. I don't spend nearly enough time with most of them, but all we have to do is look at each other and know what's really going on.
I'm grateful for the material things in my life. I've never been rich and maybe never will be, but no one has ever let me starve in body, mind or spirit.
I'm grateful that I'm getting past my fears and starting to express myself more. Two years ago, I thought blogging was ridiculous and egotistical, but behind that was a fear that no one would be interested in reading anything I wrote anyway. A year ago, I couldn't do karaoke without my knees shaking. Six months ago, I wouldn't do a collage or other art piece for anyone but family or very close, kind friends. Today, I enjoy blogging, love singing karaoke (despite the fact that the voice that sounds like Debbie Harry in the car really is more like a blend of Yoko Ono and Julie Andrews when you put a mike in front of me), and just completed a collage for a door prize at a conference my job is doing. And the best part? I'm really not all that concerned with how much people like what I'm doing. Yes, I'd love it if some of the people whose blogs I link to like what I write as much as I like what they write. But I'm primarily doing this for God and for me. God gave me the talent in the first place; it's my responsibility to use it to honor and praise Him, regardless of what the world might think.
Last of all, I'm grateful that my birthday this year was not an occasion to grub gifts (although I did get some nice presents this year) nor to beat myself up about how I spent the previous year. It was an occasion to consider what I would like to do for the next year but still accept and love myself even if absolutely none of it gets accomplished.

So what would I like to do with this coming year?

Continue to be published in progressive, arts and culture-oriented, diverse, indie magazines and webzines.
Take some classes to improve in my current field and make me more marketable in my eventual chosen career. I'd like to teach job skills eventually, so some classes I might take to point me in the right direction include event planning, time management, bookkeeping, Web design, and anything that would put me closer to a Microsoft Office certification.
Regardless of whether I lose weight or not, be at peace with my body and take better care of it.
Get closer to God and find a place besides the altar in my bedroom where I feel comfortable praying and meditating. Right now, I'm not concerned with where it is or what denomination it is.
Finally make the amends I've been putting off out of fear.

I'm not afraid that this feeling will end. I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts.

Families

2008-02-11T18:30:00.001-05:00

Saturday was an interesting day for me. I spent the morning volunteering at Cleveland's Homeless Stand Down, a service fair where homeless folks can get winter clothing, a hot meal, haircuts, health screenings, and access to a variety of other services. There was even a bingo game run by several Case Western Reserve University fraternity brothers and music courtesy of a Christian music ministry. Doesn't sound interesting from the description, but the end result when you mix dozens of dedicated volunteers and hundreds of homeless people turns out to be more like a family reunion, minus nosy aunts who ask, "So when are you getting married?" I started in guest registration, moved to guest check-out, and ended by serving and cleaning up after lunch.

As at any family reunion, there were a couple of hiccups, including one extremely belligerent woman who seemed determined to make trouble. I let her disturb my serenity for a moment, and then said the Serenity Prayer and reminded myself that she is a sick person in need of help, not judgment. We got along much better the rest of the day.

After getting some errands and visiting done in the afternoon, my boyfriend Matt (yep, we're back together) and I went to a musician's jam party hosted by a co-worker of his and his housemate. This was a family reunion of a different type; Matt met some of his brother musicians, and I met sisters and brothers who write, do web design, sketch, paint, and do a variety of other arts. Alas, there was no bass; the gentleman who promised to bring one made the mistake of lending it to a friend and has yet to get it back. No matter, Matt had a great time playing one of the two drum sets. It was amazing to see how people who had never played together before and had a wide variety of musical influences worked so well together. I heard Pink Floyd, Santana, Jimi Hendrix, the Doors, and just about every classic and modern rock band, with a few twists of flamenco and Middle Eastern music, but it all blended into one glorious stew.

We stayed late -- every time Matt tried to get up to let someone else play, the other guys begged him to play another "groove." I can't remember the last time I had such a good time with him, and that night reminded me of some of the reasons why I fell in love with him in the first place. As the party wound down, we had a great conversation with our host Wayne (a true tie-dyed-in-the-wool Bohemian who also plays drums) and Dan (who resembles a young Rick Moranis but nonetheless rocks out on guitar) and made plans to do another jam session soon. I can't wait.

I talked to Dan about music and mathematics being the only true universal languages, and he completely got it. That's proof to me that we were definitely in the right place.

P.S. About the Homeless Stand Down -- go to InterAct Cleveland and Northeast Ohio Coalition for the Homeless's web sites to find out more. You'll see the links on the right of this page.

Back in the saddle again

2008-02-08T12:31:00.000-05:00

I've been away for a while, but now I'm back. I saw a couple of postings on craigslist for writing gigs. One of them sounds particularly interesting -- they're looking for writer/photographer teams to cover national concert tours. It's unpaid, but you do get complimentary concert tickets. Problem? I don't own a digital camera and I'm not a particularly good photographer. So I posted an ad looking for a photographer, and I got a very promising response from a Kent State student majoring in photojournalism. I sent her a link to this blog and a couple of samples of my work. I'm psyched to see some of her work and possibly meet with her.

Part 2

2008-01-29T16:37:00.000-05:00

Dreaming of a Green Christmas – Part 2
By Meghan K. Donovan

Last issue, you read about my pledge to have a more eco-friendly Christmas celebration. Now you can see what I learned.

Gift cards are actually a sustainable choice; that way, you’re letting people pick their own gifts rather than giving them stuff they don’t want or need. Also, the recipient can reload the gift card and either reuse it or pass it on.
You can find some nice things in thrift stores, like the glass containers I used as molds for soy candles. Alas, the candles didn’t work out (see below).
Don’t overheat soy wax!
Both gift tags made from old Christmas cards and Christmas postcards (in lieu of regular cards) are charming.
I found a wealth of eco-friendly and fair trade options online, but what really surprised me was how many brick-and-mortar stores there are that cater to folks who are trying to live a greener lifestyle. Even more surprising was the number of options at “big box” stores, though I tried to use mostly local merchants.
There’s no law that says you have to go shopping on “Black Friday.” (Sitting in traffic is detrimental to your carbon footprint, to say nothing of your serenity!) I took care of some things I needed to do anyway, consolidating the trips, and then spent the rest of the day relaxing and enjoying the company of my family and friends. (I admit I did make a short trip to Pat Catan’s and another to Borders, though the trip to Borders was more a bonding experience than a buying trip.)
Saving boxes, while it cluttered up my apartment for a while, did amuse me, bringing back memories of the Christmas when my parents wrapped all my brother and my gifts in shoe boxes (We went through a lot of shoes that year!).

Here are some resources I used:

Co-Op America – Their Green Pages are a great place to start when looking for green businesses of any kind. www.coopamerica.org/pubs/greenpages.

Ten Thousand Villages – Really awesome fair trade store. Check out the stores in Trinity Commons or Rocky River or visit www.tenthousandvillages.com.

Habitat for Humanity – One of my favorite charities anyway, but it turns out they do a lot of greenbuilding. Regardless of political or religious affiliation, most people would not mind a gift in their honor to Habitat. www.habitat.org

Pat Catan’s – Carries soy wax and lead-free wicks for candles, plus the recycled card stock and hemp string I used for a couple of projects. Locations throughout Northeast Ohio (I went to the ones in Strongsville and Parma).

Giant Eagle – Their Nature’s Basket section is small but growing.

Heinen’s – Carries a slightly larger selection of organic/fair trade items than Giant Eagle.

If anyone cares . . .

2008-01-29T16:35:00.000-05:00

The full text of part 1 of my eco-friendly Christmas article:

I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas
By Meghan K. Donovan

“Christmas is a time to say, ‘I love you,’” Billy Squier sings from the radio. It’s also a time to spend ridiculous amounts of money on things that say, “I may love you, but forget about the earth,” and wrap it in paper that gets ripped to shreds. That can’t possibly be a good way to celebrate the birth of a man who charged us with responsibility to “love God with all your heart . . . and love your neighbor as yourself,” and by extension, to love God’s creation.

With that in mind, I set out to have a greener holiday season than I have had in years past. While I can’t minimize my carbon footprint when it comes to driving, as much of my family lives outside of Cuyahoga County, I can at least be more mindful about what I buy and how I present it.

Does that mean everyone from my 4-year-old nephew to my 89-year-old grandfather to the love of my life will be getting 10-pound sacks of bulgur wheat wrapped in hemp? I think not!

October 14 – My mobile rings, my boyfriend Matt brings it over, and I hear my sister-in-law Nicole. We say hello, chat a bit, and Nicole tells me that my mother wants a new bedspread for Christmas. The ones she’s seen are expensive, and would I like to go in with her and my brother on one.

Normally I would say, “Yes,” because: 1) I hate to shop; 2) Nicole has a degree in interior design and extremely good taste. This time, I am at a loss. I can’t see how I could find an eco-friendly bedspread in the land of the big box and home of the strip mall unless I wove it myself. Considering I can’t do anything more complex than sewing on a button, the results would be comical. I tell Nicole I’ll get back to her at my nephew Michael’s birthday party the next week and make a mental note to look for vintage bedspreads and a green cleaners.

October 16 – I’ve reserved three Danny Seo books plus a couple other helpful books at the library. I have some ideas for what to do for my family. In the past, I’ve made donations to the Heifer Project (http://www.heifer.org/) in honor of my grandparents, so I will do that again this year. I found an awesome eco-friendly toy site (http://www.worldwidechild.com/) and will probably order either something from there or a gift certificate for Michael.

Next, I ponder the card question. Danny Seo’s not a big fan of e-cards, but traditional Christmas cards aren’t exactly recyclable and with two jobs and my writing, I really don’t have time to do handmade cards for my huge family, business contacts, and friends. My best recourse seems to be to design something on the computer and print it on recycled/recyclable paper.

October 18 – Late last night, I went for one last trip to Super K-Mart. Goodbye, clearance racks and 24-hour shopping. Hello e-shopping and Ten Thousand Villages. I’m a little intimidated but psyched nonetheless.

October 19 – I return stuff to K-Mart and go to Unique Thrift. Thrifting is recycling in its purest form – reusing. I come out with all kinds of groovy stuff (and for less than $20!), but no gift ideas. Later, I talk to my brother but don’t say anything about the “experiment.”

October 23 -- Did I mention Danny Seo has some awesome ideas? The other books I checked out are good, but he really seems to get it that you can be eco-friendly and still have style without breaking the bank.

October 25 -- My list is solid, from Matt to my family to Matt's two daughters. I have some ideas of where to shop, both at brick-and-mortar stores and online.

Here's what I plan to do:
· Print my own cards on recyclable paper or creatively reuse cards that were sent to me.
· Not do as many cards this year. Half the cards I wrote last year didn't even get circulated because I didn't see people until after Christmas. My family, close friends and co-workers are enough. Anyone else gets an e-card or a simple "Merry Christmas."
· Do handmade gifts as much as I can, eco-friendly and fair-trade for the rest. Shop online or by phone.
· Look in high-quality thrift stores.
· Walk or take RTA when I can, consolidate trips when I can't.
· Not buy wrapping paper or ribbons -- figure out creative ways of wrapping gifts. (Bonus -- My two spoiled cats won't have the opportunity to shred nice paper or eat ribbon!)
· Become a compulsive box saver.
· Have a vegetarian potluck for Matt and my "orphan" friends (folks with no family, families out of state or dysfunctional). Not strictly green, but still a nice idea.
· Unfortunately, due to my apartment complex's rules, I can't have a live Christmas tree and plant it after Christmas. Instead, I'll be using one of my artificial trees and donating the other.
· Come hell or high water, I will not go shopping on "Black Friday." Sitting in traffic and hunting for parking spaces burns too much gas. Besides, fighting my way through crowds is not my idea of fun. If Matt wants to go, I'll say "You go right ahead, honey," and contentedly work on my recycled affirmation cards and homemade jewelry.

Tune in next issue to see how I did! In the meantime, whatever and however you celebrate, have a happy and blessed holiday season.

Feeling a little let down

2008-01-29T16:10:00.000-05:00

I had an article published in the December-January issue of Earth Watch Ohio about having a more eco-friendly Christmas celebration. I had promised a second part to my article, and sent it to the editor right after New Year's for the February-March issue.

I went to Earth Watch Ohio's web site and it wasn't there.

I can understand that -- considering I was competing with articles about "The Story of Stuff" (which I haven't seen yet but sounds really interesting), Citizens Advocating for Responsible Energy, and the spotted salamander as our state amphibian. Sort of like thinking because I did the Race for the Cure 10+ years ago, I'm capable of the Boston Marathon. I can't compete -- I know that.

I just wish someone would have told me. Back to the drawing board, I suppose.

Earth Watch Ohio is an excellent publication -- check them out at www.earthwatchohio.org.

Smart cats

2008-01-25T13:02:00.000-05:00

I promised posts about my furbabies Oliver and Rocky, so here are a few examples of how almost-human they are:

When I open a can of tuna or some other treat for them, they don't just sit there and meow till I put some on a plate. Rocky will actually stand on his hind legs, reach up to the counter and try to grab the can if I'm not working fast enough to suit him.
If I don't get up for work by the latest time I can wake up and still make it to work on time, they both jump on the bed and get in my face. I know this isn't unique, but they never do it on days when I'm home sick, and they do it much later on weekends.
No matter what time I get home, Oliver is always waiting at the door when I arrive.
If someone is upset or not feeling well, Oliver automatically goes to that person and gives them some love (even people he barely knows).
When I sit down, Rocky stands on his hind legs, puts his paws on my shoulder, and rubs his face against mine, purring the whole time.

I'd love to hear about other people's pets and the cute things they do.

Here baby, there mama, everywhere daddy, daddy -- HAIR!

2008-01-22T13:41:00.000-05:00

On Sunday morning, my mom's hairstylist cut off 14 inches of my hair. I can't believe how different I look and how much lighter my head feels! Also, I chose to donate my hair to Wigs for Kids because they're local (in Rocky River). If you're interested in doing the same, their web site is: www.wigsforkids.org.

I didn't get any pics during the process, but I'll post some before and after pics.

Mixed Emotions: Craigslist

2008-01-18T12:51:00.000-05:00

I've spent way too much time on Craigslist lately. I'm trying to sell a few things, looking for freelance writing gigs, and advertising my services as a typist/writer/proofreader.

For those of you who aren't aware, Craigslist is basically the world's biggest bulletin board. If you're looking for a job, a gig for your band, a winter car, a pet to adopt, someone to proofread your manuscript -- you name it, you can find it.

Craigslist also has a section called Rants and Raves. Sometimes people submit very funny, intelligent, well-crafted posts (check out best-of-craigslist for these). Most of the time, at least in Cleveland, Rants and Raves is just an excuse for people to abuse those whose opinions, religion, politics, ethnicity, gender, socioeconomic status, whatever, differs from their own. It upsets me, and yet like watching "Borat" for the umpteenth time or eating an entire loaf of garlic bread, I can't stop reading.

Is this out of a need to feel morally or intellectually superior? Maybe, though I hate to admit it. Is it to remind myself what *not* to do when I'm feeling agitated? Perhaps. Right now, it's a reminder that I want to keep my blog as positive as possible. Even when there's something negative going on, I aspire to do one of three things: 1) offer a solution if I can 2)create awareness so others more able than I will get interested in finding a solution 3) try to find the humor.

My "January in Cleveland Blues" was one example of what I hope to accomplish with my blog. I hope that you enjoyed it. If you could identify, I hope it made you smile.

Here's what I'm up to this weekend:

Taking care of more of the things that I couldn't do while my car was in the shop. Much as I dislike shopping, it felt good to be able to go to Petco, Wal-Mart and Giant Eagle last night. Silly? Maybe. But it was a good reminder of the things I take for granted.
Getting together with friends I haven't seen in a while.
Visiting with my family, including my grandparents who will be married 67 years next week and my darling 4-year-old nephew Michael.
Finally donating my hair to Locks of Love. My mom has offered to pay for me to get a new style and color, and since I've spent two years growing my hair, I'm going to take full advantage of that offer. I'll take some pics and post them next week.

I need to get back to work, so I'll sign off for now. I most likely won't be back till Sunday evening. Have a great weekend and stay warm!

By the way, if you or someone you know needs a proofreader, my hourly rate is $12.50.

The Artist's Way

2008-01-14T08:31:00.001-05:00

A couple years ago at a retreat, I was given The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron. Time went on, and I got distracted by other books, or told myself I couldn't make the 12-week commitment to the book. Saturday night I picked it up again and found I was finally ready.

So far, I've only read the foreword and introduction in detail, but the premise is that not only are we obligated to recover and discover our creativity for our own sakes, but our creativity can also be a gift to God as we understand God. If the Father/Mother/Great Spirit saw fit to give us creative ability, we have the responsibility to use it.

This made perfect sense to me. One of my favorite parables is from Matthew 25:14-30 (also appears in Luke 19:11-27), about the wealthy man who gave his three servants money (in most translations called "talents") to invest with the expectation that they would increase the money. The two who did so were greatly rewarded. Certainly God as I understand God would not punish those who do not use their natural abilities for good -- they do that themselves already -- but He is greatly pleased with those who do use their creativity, whether it's raising a child consciously, working on a relationship, putting their best effort into a profession or trade, or developing artistic talent of any kind.

I plan to follow the 12-week course laid out in the book, and will keep you updated with what I learn.

January in Cleveland Blues

2008-01-11T16:06:00.000-05:00

Oh, my car's in the shop till Tuesday
My cats won't eat their food
My bank account is overdrawn
And bill collectors are being rude . . .

Oh, I've got the blues
The four days till payday blues
The waiting for tax refund blues
The apartment's a disaster blues
Those low-down, gotta leave town, January in Cleveland blues.

I just broke up with my boyfriend
But he won't leave me alone
It's supposed to snow this weekend
And I need a new cell phone . . .

Oh, I've got the blues
The four days till payday blues
The waiting for tax refund blues
The apartment's a disaster blues
Those low-down, gotta leave town, January in Cleveland blues.

PMS is kicking in
I'm eating carbs just like a hog
Work is making me crazy
So I had to post on my blog . . .

Oh, I've got the blues
The four days till payday blues
The waiting for tax refund blues
The apartment's a disaster blues
Those low-down, gotta leave town, January in Cleveland blues.

But I've got an awesome family
And a job that helps pay the bills
And friends who'll never let me down
And anti-depressant pills . . .

To help me kick those blues
Those four days till payday blues
The waiting for tax refund blues
The apartment's a disaster blues
Those low-down, gotta leave town, January in Cleveland blues.

I had to find something to do with all the self-pity and frustration! I promise there'll be more positive posts to come, but for right now, I had to write about what was really going on.

Into the Mysteries -- 2003

2008-01-08T20:46:00.001-05:00

For Sarah Maddox

I still remember seeing you for the first time.
You were my height, but probably half my weight, with hair that was a curious shade between coral and tangerine, wearing black even in the Ohio September.
I was an orientation leader, 100 percent preppy in my cerise T-shirt and white shorts, ponytail, no makeup, practical white sneakers.
I saw you here and there on campus before I finally met you.
“She’s too old to be a freshman, she’s not a transfer student or I would have met her this weekend, and she looks vaguely familiar . . . who is she?”

You came to the Exponent meeting at the beginning of the year. I remembered having heard your name spoken with a sort of reverence in the English department.
You joined the staff as my assistant editor, although I suspected that the fact that you had spent the previous year at Oxford was the only reason why I was not your assistant.
Immediately, you decided you wanted to write a column—“The World According to Gonzo.”
Before meeting you, I thought Gonzo was a blue, vaguely avian Muppet.
You patiently explained who Hunter S. Thompson was and how he coined the phrase “gonzo journalism.”
And throughout the year, I came to understand why you were alternately worshipped and decried as “pretentious.”
Who else could tie together National Coming Out Day and sorority rush?
Who else incorporated allusions to Tennyson and the Addams Family into an epitaph to “Calvin and Hobbes”?
Who was unafraid to cite A.N. Roquelaure to provoke reaction to what might have been a standard college-newspaper-issue cautionary editorial about date rape?

I still remember how the chains on your leather jacket and the heels of your boots heralded your arrival in the office every Sunday.
Scott, your partner, was frequently Sancho Panza to your Don Quixote, unobtrusive, but nonetheless unforgettable.
Siouxsie and the Banshees, Billy Idol, Dead Can Dance were background to our creativity sessions.
The Hive, Domino’s, Marco’s and Pizza King kept the muses fed.
We wrote a good deal of the material ourselves and didn’t care—all the better to exercise our talents with.

We had our disagreements—your voluminous review of two ninety-minute concerts had to be edited, and you were angry with me when I continued to edit after you left for the night.
Sometimes we irritated people—tight-ass copy-editor Ryan who didn’t get “The World According to Gonzo,” a few people who didn’t appreciate Scott’s presence in the office, though he was never in the way.
The rest of the staff indulged your eccentricities; the most critical thing I heard was Natalie’s gentle chiding upon witnessing your devouring a bowl of yogurt dip that was intended for the out-of-season strawberries.

Though an English major, I was unsure of my talent outside the newspaper office.
The other students in the department intimidated me.
I hadn’t yet gotten to know Diana, Anita, Cheryl, Michelle, and the others who were blissfully unaware of their cool.
You were affirming of my talent; you made me believe that I could be a poet of your caliber.
You were reclaiming your sacred sexuality and didn’t care who knew that you’d been a dancer and a dominatrix.
You made me laugh, and you made me think.

The kindest things I heard you say to me:
First, comparing me to the Venus of Willendorf because of my generous proportions and earthy coloring.
From then on, I perceived myself as more goddess and less forgotten woman.
Second, on my twenty-first birthday, jokingly, “I could spank you, but it would be incestuous.”
It was such a compliment to be considered your little sister, budding maiko to your full-blown geisha.

I saw you just two times after you graduated and before you returned to Oxford.
The first was when you and Scott came to the clambake, which we ditched for a trip to the home of your mentor Michelle.
Michelle gave me your chapbook, Eleusinian Mysteries.
The more I read it, the more I understand the choice of title.
You were initiated into the sisterhood of woman, sometimes gently, sometimes painfully, and having survived your initiation, felt a calling to be guide to other maidens.
I consider myself privileged to be among those under your tutelage.
The second time was when you invited a group of your Cleveland-based friends to visit you and Scott in Cincinnati and go to an SCA[1] event.
The weekend was a blur of food, drink, music, dancing, and laughter—a celebration of Dionysus, in another set of mysteries.

Every so often, I do a People Search on Yahoo, looking for an address, phone number or e-mail that might be yours.
I have lost contact with the goddesses and the Wild Woman, through soul-stealing jobs, addictions, illness, and bad love.
I remember their names and use them every so often, but the words are as hollow as the decades of the Rosary that I chanted before grade school mass.
I need to let go of ego and embrace the divine once again.
[1] Society for Creative Anachronisms.

Little Tygers -- 2007

2008-01-08T20:44:00.001-05:00

For Oliver and Rocky, with a nod to William Blake

Tygers, Tygers, red and white,
Curled up in my bed at night,
What immortal divine agent
Did make thy faces innocent?

From what distant deeps or skies
Came the sweetness of thy eyes,
Gold and green and full of graces,
What kindly angel sculpted thy faces?

And what merciful celestial arts
Made thy almost-human hearts?
The heads that nudge, the sweet meows,
The purrs that calm my worried brows?

Those tumbling stripes, those soft pink paws,
The twitching tails and crescent claws,
Your fur the softest thing I know,
Your curiosity all aglow.

When the angels’ laughter faded,
And your kitten-forms on earth were planted,
He must have smiled His work to see,
That One who made the Lamb and thee.

Tygers, Tygers, red and white,
Curled up in my bed at night,
What immortal divine agent
Did make thy faces innocent?

The Pursuit of Beauty -- 1996

2008-01-08T20:43:00.002-05:00

I have tweezed and massaged my face into a certain level of homogeneity.
My thick black eyebrows may give me charm, but a spotty complexion will only make me a wallflower.
The mud mask I wore to “draw out impurities” slowly drew out my anxieties as well.
My feet calmly rest in a dishpan of water with islands of soapy bubbles
In an attempt to make size 11s that have spent the winter in boots into something fit to be worshipped, or at least displayed in sandals.
Into my face, I have massaged Peaches and Cream lotion in the hope that my skin will resolve itself into this delicacy.
I soak my hands briefly, and then clip the nails grown ragged from typing, working in clay, and general benign neglect.
Then buff them until they shine like glass, and decide whether to add polish.
I ponder what to do about my hair –
Get a trim? Chop it all off?
Add highlights or turn the earth-brown into flaming red, inky black, or even platinum blonde?
Brush it into straightness, curl it into long spirals, or let it do what it will?
I appraise my body and regret sharing that pizza with Becki and Melissa last night,
But I have reconciled myself to the fact that I would have to work too hard to be a size 6.
Besides, while some men yell, “Try Jenny Craig,” or simply look disdainfully,
Others refer to me as a goddess.
I try to remind myself that beauty comes from within,
But it would be nice if the outside caught up a bit faster.

Prerequisites for Poetry -- 2003

2008-01-08T20:43:00.001-05:00

William Carlos Williams was a doctor, and Wallace Stevens sold insurance.
The world knows them as poets.
Dr. Harakas always loved their poetry, and so did the pseudo-intellectual, chain-smoking, self-anointed feminists and their ambiguously gay boyfriends who kissed his ass.
Maybe I was clueless, but I didn’t understand then what the big deal was.
Anyone can be an Imagist.
I preferred the Beats, who worked as lumberjacks, merchant marines, laborers and waiters or did not work at all, but hitchhiked and rode the rails, living on cheap diner food and cheaper wine, having sex with this or that casual acquaintance, whom they might or might not serially marry.
And Sylvia Plath, who left a teaching job at Smith College after only a year.
And the Romantics and Victorians, who loved their absinthe, hashish and opium.
Now, I envy the coffeehouse poets, both the ones who make a living from either writing or teaching, and the ones who work as baristas and indie record store clerks to finance the dream and don’t care if they live on Top Ramen and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
But is someone less of a poet because his or her writing must take place from 5 to 9, or after an eight or twelve-hour shift (perhaps even a double), squeezed in between parenting, paying bills, cleaning, shopping, checking in with family and friends?
Can anyone with talent and drive be an artist? Or are there requirements—secret handshakes, code words, written or unwritten rules?
Must you busk on downtown streets, playing a guitar that is missing one string?
Are you disqualified if you’ve ever worked at a fast-food place or been a telemarketer or a temp?
Can you know how to cook, and enjoy it?
Is a 600-square-foot one-bedroom near the park an acceptable home base, or must you live in an attic?
If you do not smoke, go to 12-Step meetings, and take antidepressants, does this mark you as, “Not our type, dear”?
What about if you are female and like dressing up and wearing makeup?
Or if you spend 40 hours a week in a grey cubicle trying not to go mad?
Dr. Harakas must have known something I didn’t.
Was William Carlos Williams recommended to someone looking for a new doctor?
“Oh, you should go to Dr. Williams. He’s the best, even though they say he’s also a poet.”
How much insurance did Wallace Stevens sell?
“Go see old Wally Stevens. He’ll take care of you. I went to high school with him.
They say he’s a poet, but he’s not crazy at all.”
Does it matter? The world knows them as poets.

Elements -- 1997

2008-01-08T20:42:00.002-05:00

For Dave Williamson

The block of clay is as grey as cooked mushrooms.
I slice off a comfortable eight pounds and approach the wedging table,
Begin by scraping away the minutiae of previous potters.
Wedging the clay is sometimes like kneading bread dough,
And other times like massaging the flesh of a lover.
I cut the ram’s head into smaller parts and shape them into grapefruit-sized spheres,
Earth shaped into little earths.
I choose one small world to work with and throw it onto the potter’s wheel with a little water and a little more strength.
I pause and brace my arms, remembering how my teacher says,
“To center the clay, you must center yourself.”
I baptize the clay with a handful of water,
And as the wheel spins, try to shape it into something both beautiful and useful.
At this stage, air can be ally or enemy,
Not enough and there is no space for your vessel to hold anything,
Too much, and it may throw your clay off-center.
Finally, I have shaped a bowl.
I cut it from the wheel of life, set it on a board, and let the air in the closet do its work.
Here, the element of time comes into play.
After what seems an eternity of waiting and trimming and waiting,
The bowl is ready for the kiln and the fire can do its work.
With time and heat, the dusty gray becomes a pale pink.
For the glaze, I go back to the earth and water.
Metals, salts and other alchemical mysteries, that once fired, resolve themselves into velvety black, earthy greens and browns, or blue and gold like a fine morning.
When the glaze dries, the piece goes back into the kiln for more time with the fire and air.
Metal rusts, wood rots, but ceramics will be with us forever.
Even broken, they endure with the power of the elements.

What is the Difference? -- 2003

2008-01-08T20:42:00.001-05:00

A man with a variety of skills and interests is called a “Jack-of-all-trades,”
Even if he modestly offers the caveat, “And master of none.”
Why does no one use the term “Jill-of-all-trades” for a woman with a variety of skills and interests?
If she is someone’s wife (or even a single mother),
She may possibly be hailed as “a worthy wife,” as in Proverbs 31.
If she is not, she is called “dilettante.”
In one week, a woman is employee or employer, taxpayer, volunteer of various stripes, consumer, citizen, maid, cook, driver, caretaker, daughter, sister, friend.
If she has a partner of either sex, “lover” can be added to her job description.
If she has children, then she is spiritual leader, teacher, nurse, entertainer, chauffeur, coach, motivational speaker, parole officer, et cetera, et cetera.
Some of us play at being artists, or do more than play.
Does that sound like a dilettante to you?
I propose that the term “Jill-of-all-trades” be added to every English dictionary and translated into every living language.
And of course we should also have the opportunity to add, if we so desire, “And mistress of none,”--or “master,” if the term “mistress” bothers one too much--as our fathers, brothers, husbands and sons do.

The Ballad of Tim and Judy: An Irreverent Epithalamium -- 2004

2008-01-08T20:41:00.002-05:00

For my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary on 4 May 2004, with a nod to John Lennon

Studying at college in Akron
Introduced by a mutual friend
She said, “I’m off to class,”
He said, “Do not pass,”
To “Jabberwocky” her ear did bend.

Yeah, they make it look easy
Despite how hard it can be
The way things are going
Thirty more years they will see.

Driving en route to a party
The birthday of Tim’s nephew Jim
He said, “Please marry me,”
“I love you,” said she.
Delighted was he with her and she with him.

Yeah, they make it look easy
Despite how hard it can be
The way things are going
Thirty more years they will see.

The ceremony was at St. Mary’s
On a lovely morning in May
Their families said,
“Such a fine couple to wed,”
It was a most joyful, beautiful day.

Yeah, they make it look easy
Despite how hard it can be
The way things are going
Thirty more years they will see.

Wisdom, devotion, friendship, fun and play
Kindness, love and generosity
All these traits and more
They have in great store
They’re well matched in their bodies, minds and souls.

Soon they had a son and a daughter
And a cozy suburban home
Lots of family and friends
Joy that never ends
And holidays and birthdays galore.

Yeah, they make it look easy
Despite how hard it can be
The way things are going
Thirty more years they will see.

Now they are called Grandma and Grandpa
By a tiny baby named Mike
We’re all here today
Our good wishes to say
To two people so incredibly nice.

Yeah, they make it look easy
Despite how hard it can be
The way things are going
Thirty more years they will see.

The way things are going
Thirty more years they will see.

Wedding-Ring Quilt -- 2006

2008-01-08T20:41:00.001-05:00

For Heather Kuhne and Eric Walters, on the occasion of their wedding 21 October 2006

The time of the singing of the birds is come,
For this is the golden morning of love.
A place to stand and love in for a day
With something of angelic light.
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
There never was a better bargain driven.
Having love is the key to having love,
Those who grow into love remain anchored.
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
Their hands shall not tremble, their feet shall not falter.
Truth, that’s brighter than gem,
That is a power of unison between souls,
It is the star to every wandering bark.
Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime
But who would count eternity in days?
Count not the years, but take of each its boon.
Yes, love indeed is light from heaven,
The wine of love is music.
May you live out your life without hate, without grief,
Sing care away, care away, let the world go!
Because God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.

Music Mound, Mill Stream Run Reservation -- c. 1995

2008-01-08T20:40:00.002-05:00

The waterfall sings lead,
Belting a powerful melody, backed by the rock rhythm section.
Cicadas and crickets trill like Spanish guitars.
Birds chime in with flute, piccolo, and clarinet.
The trees dance along to the melody, free and flowing,
Encouraged by the wind that whirls through like a dervish[1].
Squirrels and chipmunks, rabbits and raccoons, ducks and herons are the audience.
Sometimes a human listener slows down long enough on rollerblades, bike or feet
And listens reverently to the concert.
More often, they drive past in their noisy, discordant cars.
Yet the rhythm is not off-key or off-tempo yet.
The song continues on.

[1] “A member of a Muslim religious order noted for devotional exercises (as bodily movements leading to a trance).” (Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary)

The Poet and Her Chorus -- c. 1997

2008-01-08T20:40:00.001-05:00

The writer sits with paper and pen.
Critic says, “Derivative, sophomoric, simplistic. There’s nothing new under the sun, after all.”
Cynic says, “Nothing happy is poetic anymore. All the good poetry is dark and depressing just like life.”
Day-planner says, “Look what else you have to do today, tomorrow, next week . . .”
Materialist says, “Poetry never made anyone wealthy, not even Shakespeare. Aren’t you better off pursuing a serious career?”
Party girl says, “Come on, it’s Monday/Wednesday/Friday/any day ending in Y! Go have a few drinks!”
Perfectionist says, “You’ll never be as good as Mary or Theresa or Sarah or Chelsea. Just forget it.”
Prude says, “Shocking! How can you even think of such things, never mind writing them?”
The paper sits expectant, receptive.
The pen is poised, erect, ready to penetrate.
And the writer says, “Screw all you ridiculous Harpies,” and begins to create.

Tossed salads

2008-01-08T19:45:00.001-05:00

Re: my "tossed salad" comment earlier today . . .

It was not my intention to be flippant. What I meant was that there are a lot of diverse, seemingly completely opposite feelings co-existing in my brain. Nostalgia for the good times, sadness that it didn't work out the way that we both hoped, a little anger, a little frustration, fear that I just lost the best thing that ever happened to me . . . all of them co-existing with a peace of mind (however evanescent) that I haven't had in a while.

My ex left a voicemail on my cell this morning. He said he doesn't want to stand in the way of me doing what I need to do, but he will always love me and never forget me. Now the "salad" has been shaken up a bit more. Was I right to do what I did? Can we be friends, or even get back together once we've both done some growing up?

*sigh* . . .

A sample platter, if you will

2008-01-08T15:43:00.001-05:00

Some of the events I plan to check out this year:

Drum Circles at Angel House in Strongsville
Cleveland Peace Action NOAC Progressive Film Series
Productions at Cleveland Public Theatre and Near West Theatre
Concerts at City Music, Baldwin-Wallace College, Cleveland Institute of Music, and Cleveland State University
Poetry Open Mic at the Bookstore on West 25th
"Humans: A Field Guide" at the Cleveland Natural History Museum
Programs at Cuyahoga County Public Library and Cleveland Public Library
"Short and Sweet" at the Western Reserve Historical Society
Parade the Circle
Cleveland Pride
American Indian Education Center Father's Day Powwow
Stitch 'n Bitch Cleveland
Lake Erie Monsters (this one is a work event)

This does not include assorted game nights, parties, and other events with family and friends. And I'm sure I'll get in an Indians game or two.

Also, some organizations I plan to give my time to:

Cleveland Food Not Bombs
InterAct Cleveland
Northeast Ohio Coalition for the Homeless
Greater Cleveland Habitat for Humanity
Berea Animal Rescue

I'll post links later; this list is just to give a general idea of what's in Cleveland if you're willing to look.

So I think I know . . .

2008-01-08T11:51:00.000-05:00

what I want my blog to be about.

I recently ended a long-term relationship, and among the tossed salad of feelings and thoughts that go with such a major change, the question came up, "How do I spend the time that I would have spent hanging out with him/hanging out with him and his buddies/waiting for him to call/making him homemade macaroni and cheese while he watches football?"

The answer finally came after two days of feeling lost -- "Do the things you enjoy that didn't particularly interest him." Classical music, theatre, poetry readings, politically oriented events, independent films and volunteer work all came into my mind. (This is not to say that my ex is not particularly cerebral or unselfish with his time, just that given the choice between serving lentil soup to homeless folks or watching the Browns, no matter how hopeless the game, he'll choose the Browns.)

So I set myself a goal -- do at least one thing every weekend that he would never do with me or would only do with much protesting. What you'll see on my blog are reviews of those events, whether it's a performance, a gallery show or a poetry reading. This will serve a dual purpose: 1) plug the wonderful cultural resources that are available in Northeast Ohio and 2) remind single folks that you do *not* need a partner to enjoy yourself. (No, I won't always be going to these events alone; I'll invite interested friends and family, but if I can't find anyone to go, I will go on my own rather than stay home and be bored.)

You'll also occasionally see some of my poetry. Whatever gets a good review at a reading or is particularly representative of my state of mind will appear here.

Spirituality will be a major topic as well. I'm experimenting with attending different churches, getting serious about yoga again, and checking out Zen meditation at Cloudwater Zendo. There's more than one way to connect with God, and I hope that sharing my spiritual experiences will make people open up about theirs.

Occasionally, when my writing appears in another publication, you'll get just a link to that article. I'll also post my musings about . . . well, the muse and the writing process.

And yes, there will be cute stories about my cats. I have two American Shorthair brothers, Oliver and Rocky, who are 6 years old and think they're little men in orange fur coats.

What to blog?

2008-01-03T16:13:00.001-05:00

I don't believe in verbal abuse, and I don't think the Internet makes it OK.

I respect religion and democracy, but I hate those e-mail forwards that imply that I hate America/don't believe in God/don't believe in Jesus Christ if I don't forward them. For the record, I am apolitical (when I do take a stand, it's generally moderate to liberal) and a nondenominational, progressive Christian with a deep respect for other faith traditions.

I don't do snarky, about any subject. I'm just not good at it.

I believe if you want to post random things about your life, at least write about them well.

So what does that leave me? Cute animal stories? I have those galore, both about my pets and about others'. Poetry? Got that too. Funny or heartwarming stories about my family and friends? Yep. Random lists about what I like/don't like about Northeast Ohio or being a thirtysomething female? I can do that.

Tell me what you'd like to see, and I'll do my best to deliver. And since it is *my* blog after all, you might see some things you don't care for or agree with. I'm all for civilized discourse and free speech, but I don't make or accept personal attacks.